It's funny, looking back on the post below....I thought everything will be different now. I'd be free and I'd be patting myself on the back.
Truth is, 5 months later, and I'm trying to collect the yellow in a bag of M&Ms. Today was the all time low however. No need to go into detail, because my mind will put that on repeat for a while... but I hadn't cried like this in a long time. I think it was because I finally walked away, not just from my first 'relationship', but from my low self worth, my impatience, my self torture.
I hope it was a finally, and I don't look back on this post some months from now and feel the same.
In other news, I turn 29 tomorrow. The last of my 20's. Numbers are starting to matter to me less and less, and I suppose that's the great thing with age. I've always imagined myself with someone by my side on my birthday....singing my praises and toasting to our love....
But today I realized that the person has been with me all along. And thats me.
This year I'll sing my praises....this year I'll stop with the empty promises to myself. Its all within.
I've had enough of running to different countries, trying to find something that's been inside me all along. I've had enough of blaming my mother for all the bullshit, I've had enough thinking its all about falling in love with some prince charming. Everything is in my hands and tomorrow i'm giving myself the greatest gift of all.
Love.
In abundance.
And when I find that self love again, I'll be home.
Happy born day to me x
