Ok this is how I feel about my posts below.

Someone keep me away from the keyboard when I'm feelin' emo porfa!

Moving on - on to better and bigger things (but I must admit, that freak out was necessary). I am going to take it day by day (thanks Anna and Bex-ventura, the song below is for you).

Tengoo.. y lo que tengo lo mantengo a base de amor y fe.

Sientoo que si no estas no corre el viento quizas afuera si pero no dentro de mi..

Vengooo sin maletas con lo puesto y esta cancion mi remedio vitamina pal´vivir.

Vuelvoo y a teneros si estas lejos como el trueno cuando pasas junto a mi.

La melodia de una rumba me dijo el secreto no esta en la tumba sino en el vivir

y viviendo a todo trapo olvide caminar despacio y las heridas de mis pies en ti.

No cantare a lo que desconozco solo a lo que entro en el fondo como el poso del vino que bebi

y antes de emborracharme brindare mirando a tus ojos y gritare el secreto es el amor

que siento por ti.

Hot dang I really need to force out the little pessimist dean that crawls in everytime something exciting is about to happen in my life. But I just can't help it. I am so emotional about leaving...I didn't think I'd be this way. Maybe it's because it was so quick and unexpected, but then again - that's what opportunities are. Maybe its the arab in me? Or maybe I need a good slap in the face ya'll. Something to wake me up! Telling me to let go of my issues, with everything, and everyone. These little dramas I create in my head that cage me inside my own mind. I need to remember - life is 10% what happens and 90% how you react to it.

Anyway, everytime I have an emo day/ moment/ week, I seem to always turn to dance, and yesterday It was just the drug I needed. I really need to get back into contemporary. I forget how much dancing heals the soul. Combined with the song below, I was cured of my crazies (temporarily). I think I've already posted the original by Sam Cooke, so here's another amazing version of my favorite song x

Ever had one of those days where you feel like all the color off you is melting and you are just a murky grey canvas? Today was sunny, but I broke down. I fell apart. I screamed like I had never done before. You will never be satisfied my dear. No matter how hard I try to please you, you will find something else to wish for, to change. I am under so much stress and so much pressure - to be this elusive daughter you yearn for. Time is ticking, and you are still ticking me off. Like a bomb I exploded. I have nothing left in me, and I am sick of bearing the burden of the issues you don't want to own up to. I am leaving to change my life. 2013 will be my year. I know it. 2012 has been the year of many changes, but I hope it was just to shape me for the year to come. I am done feeling guilty for the way I am, for the things I say, and for what I want to do. Emotionally, you have filled me with anger, your constant un-acceptance of me has made me the person I am today. Has given me my strength and perseverance to do what I want. But I am done allowing you to break me. 

I need a damn happy song to get me out of this mood.*le sigh*.

For whoever reads this, apologies for not posting in so long. I have been in London for work, visiting the schools. London. A city I never thought I'd see so soon. Oh life, your twists and turns are what I live for. 
London, 2012. Meeting old friends. Warm hugs, cold fronts. Double mattress. Blue door. Metro/tube & people galore. Cherry Jam. Markets and Photos. New girl. Polka dots. Gifts. Stone Hedge. Frozen. New friends. Love at first smile. Spain and black beauties. Heat and pain. Inspiration. Foxes and Squirrels. Ahoy. Tea and scones. Torbay/Torquay. Castles and carriages. Amazing students. Fear and excitement. Saying sorry when I didn't have to. Tears. Realization. Growth. Cat. Onsie. Learning to love the skin I'm in. Getting more comfortable from within. Eating better. Getting over chocolate. Faithful boots. Relentless. Oblivious. Dreamy transcendence. The view from the morning, and view from the afternoon. Everyone to themselves. Changes as quick as a gust of wind. History. History. Love. Money. Money. Money. Confusion. Wicked Laughter. Sleep deprivation. Awkwardness and moving forwardness. All the way to business class baby. 

Then I went to Dubai.  Opulence. Fakeness. Excitement and Fear.  Waiting as the Dubai fountain shows off and beckons. Singing the song below. 

I was walking back from lunch today, and I thought about love at first sight. I realized that once upon a time I believed in it. I wanted it. I fantasized about the possibility of it. But now I just smile it off. Think of it as an old wives tale. I don't mean this in a morbid sad way - but I justify it  in a realistic ' I'm all grown up' way. 

Then I watched this video by my dear friends Keshia&Karlos. Love at first sound. Love at first sight. I thought back to your wedding. You guys brought me back to that dreamer dean. You made me believe in soul mates and destiny again. One of my favorite Etta James covers and you guys made me love it even more. So heres to you guys, to love, to music, and laughter. Miss you. Please keep spreading the love with your music x

Can I wade (wait?) in your water, can I wade in your water, can I wade in your waterrr, till I catch a waaave!!  Been listening to this song so much....Calms me down!

I can feel summer coming along, and I wont be here :( Best part of NZ! Oh well...I feel good things coming this way! Enjoy some Kiwi coolness x

So Saturday the 10th of November I attended the best concert ever! Coldplay in Mt Smart stadium. Such amazing performers. I wish I was on the field though....we were seated. Oh well...still breath taking. I went with my childhood friend Nour and my good friend Areego - Nour had had a rough day. We used to sit on my window sill and watch the stars as we listned to 'parachutes' and 'a rush of blood to the head' ..... there were lots of tears. Lots of staring into the sky. Lots of love. Lots of gratitude.

This was my favourite. Well these two x