I closed my eyes and walked straight into the sunshine. I was blinded by unexpected light but It felt so right - everything seemed so possible. Hope seeped through my pores and I couldn't wait to live the rest of my life....

'Now don't tell me that I wont, I CAN-

Don't tell me that I'm not I AM

Don't tell me that my master plan

Ain't coming through...

Don't tell me that I wont, I WILL

Don't tell me how to think, I FEEL

Don't tell me cause I know its real,

What I can do'

Okay I want what they are having for breakfast.....enjoy x

Ok now I feel like sharing with you (hah - heres me thinking that someone reads this blog?) my top 4 favorite music videos. This is not in any particular order.....

"The air is heavy,

heavy as a truck...

need the rain to wash away our bad luck..."

The next video is just pure awesome, with a bottle full of hotness.....

I love the concept of this next video...and I used to be insanely obsessed with the song....

This last one is just stunning. Enjoy x

Friday was my farewell dinner at work....As I got to talking to everyone in more depth at the table, I found out that everyone was not what they seemed - in a good way. Its extraordinary some of the days my colleagues have lived, and continue to live. They say that some cliches are truisms, more like fact, and that night I found out that these next few certainly are. 1. You cant take life for granted, 2. everything can change in a second, and  3. never ever judge a book by its cover. In light of all that, I remember this song was playing in the back ground to our conversations as we prolonged our stay, and they tried to hint at us that its 'closing time'. Heh. I'm going to miss the WCLC x

I try to push it away, but in the back of my mind it always seems to linger. And sometimes I wonder - why am I pushing it away? I'm sure everyone who has not found love thinks about it in and out. Sometimes constantly, sometimes (depending on how busy we keep our selves) not so much.  I know for me its in those moments when I am alone and stressed that it creeps in and eats away at me the most. Actually, its also increasingly creeping in at those moments when I am surrounded by sound and laughter...And sometimes you get the triple whammy days when the hormones of a woman kick in to spice things up upstairs. Anyway, its in those moments where my thoughts drift from law school, and doing my masters, and exercising, and learning another language, and seeing more of the world - that I sink deep in thought....Will it happen to me? I ask the universe somewhere between a genuine question and prayer. I know its highly self centered,but i'm human - get over it. So I continue -will this man one day appear in my life? Love me unconditionally, and want to spend the rest of his life with me? Is this the answer to happiness? I have never really been in a relationship. At 26 I've dated one or two guys (which is a lot for this middle of the road Middle Eastern Muslim). Even though they don't take up too much of my time, after their welcome departure from my life, these guys leave me wondering 'Is this it?' Does love exist? and If it does - will it ever come into my life? Will I have a love story to share, or will I just be set up with someone, and agree out of desperation - all in the hopes of pleasing my parents, trying to somehow find a gap to place myself, in a culture and religion I don't always identify with? Yes - these thoughts occupy my time more than I would like. 

Its good to know my thoughts were in excellent company however. 

But still....I wont feel bad for the little thoughts that creep in. The little day dreams I have, where I imagine someone will love me so much - they'll dress in their best hipster attire, pick up a guitar and sing this for me. So heres Mr Nozuka fulfilling my fantasy x

Get up in the morning
and I can't keep it in
I'm falling all over myself
and I could jump out of my skin
Wanna break the door down
Just to greet the day
There is nothing that's more certain
To keep my blues away, and I say...

Keep on dreamin' , then keep on doing.....its happening. I can feel it. Its near, and its going to feel so golden baby....... x

Love this rendition........

Today I watched a wonderful film. It was part of a fundraiser for Refugees. The film was 'Le Havre'. It really made me reflect on my work for the past year has been advocating for refugees. I got so bogged down with the stress that I forgot what I did - In the midst of all my fear, frustration and insecurities of having such an intense and demanding role....questioning my ability to do it, in the midst of it all - I forgot that I played my part in some strangers life. Some will remember me, and some will not....but I shouldn't forget this role in my future. This part of my life. And maybe, it will be a part of my future? 


Anyway, back to Le Havre - This film was so sweet and beautifully simple and hopeful. Just the way I want people and life to be. The whole time I was watching it, the cynic in me tried to pop its ugly head out and say 'psshhhh yeah right, if only life was just like the movies!'. But sometimes it is.....there are so many wonderful people out there. Those little moments when people see past laziness, family obligation, friendship, colour, status and they just help you. They present you with the moment of kindness that lasts a life time. So heres a post to the kindness of strangers, the vulnerbility and beauty of those who take risks, and to those who are rewarded with life changing encounters. Lets not forget to keep things simple. To always see the good in others, because goodness is in all of us. Somedays it just takes more effort to find x

Went to POW POW POW yesterday (thanks to the lovely Anna for the tickets). Celebrating 10 years of Maori music and musicians. It was Kapai bro!!!!!! Some highlights included: 


16 year old Majic - Home town. 

Toni Huata - 

And of coarse, the AMAZING BEAUTIUFL CHARISMATIC bella Kahlolo - Enjoy x

Right now the only thing that keeps me hanging on,
When I feel my strength is almost gone -

I remember mama said,

you cant hurry love -no
She said you just have to wait.
Love dont come easy,
Its a game of give and take....
She said trust and give it time,
no matter how long it takes.....

Curled up in bed on a frosty Wellington night. The song below just popped into my head and I forgot how much I loved it and the video clip. Its so awesome. On an  unrelated to the song note - I'm going to really miss Wellington, but I am ready to move on to the next chapter of my life. I don't really know what or where its going to be written, but I'm looking forward to it. Enjoy x

How you like me now!!??

....all these days seem so far away, when I want to see how far away I've come
back then I had not seen half them things I'd ever thought I'd see....became someone I never thought I'd be........

Looking through the home page of everyones favorite time waster (facebook) this morning, and someone had posted this quote: 'Instead of planning your next vacation, why not work on creating a life you don't want to escape from'.

True. 

Love ain't got no colour,

It don't make any difference to me, what they see.....

mhhhmmmm I love me some Kevin Michaels xxx

Young hearts, to yourself be true .....
Don't be no fool when love don't really love you,


Don't love you .......

I haven't cried hearing someone sing in so long, until this came on .....

Possibly the most beautiful thing I have ever seen/heard in a long time...... 

I walked to work in the freezing cold - what made life better was listening to this song. As corny as it may be, it really lifted my spirits.

A dedication to my soul searching, globe trotting and pursuit of happiness....

Enjoy x

They are agitated the waters of Waiapu, But when you cross over girl they will be calm. Oh girl return to me, I could die of love for you. I have written my letter I have sent my ring, so that your people can see that I am troubled. My pen is shattered, I have no more paper But my love is still steadfast. My love will never be dried by the sun, It will be forever moistened by my tears

I am in and out of love with faith.....

I sometimes meditate with it.
I sometimes argue with it....
but I know - for the most part, it gives me peace of mind.

And I just want to be true.

Hello 
Alone.


Its you and me again, how can we pretend we've never met.....

When I was little, in the summer time my favorite thing to do was play with the garden hose. Put my thumb right before the water came out and make it splash everywhere. Make water rainbows and run under them, or simply just watch the water run while I adjust the pressure. I wish I could just use my garden hose now, put my thumb on the top and leave a little gap so that when the water wants to break free, it comes out stronger, but with gentle force washes everything I point it towards. I want the Middle-east back. I want to wash away the blood, the oil, the pain, the war. I just want to see date trees, and food. The tabul, the warmness, the dances, the music, the birth of history. The cradle of civilization. 


The last time I sang this song, I was in Iraq for the first time in 12 years. The power had just gone out, as me and my cousin were cooking, and we were singing this song to each other at dawn and laughing. The war has made gypsies out of all of us, but I just want to go home. 

The stranger passed by and gave me a message

My lover had written with his tears

I opened the message whose letters are lost

And days passed, years made us strangers

While winter had erased the letters of the message

I loved you in the summer, I loved you in the winter

I waited for you in the summer, I waited for you in the winter

Your eyes are summer, My eyes are winter

My love full is beyond summer and beyond winter

Is beyond summer and beyond winter.