These past few days have been a whirlwind.

I've cried tears of joy, regret, fear and sadness.

I've laughed and felt hopeful, and I've also felt so damn scared. 

I've questioned my ability to do  the job discussed. 

I've questioned my credibility.

I have not been offered anything, but If I am - will I say yes? 

And If I do - will it be the right path to take? 

Will I fail once more, and return home? Where is home? 

The brief trip to Switzerland gave me a taste of life on the road, but I just want a simple life at home. It also gave me a bigger bite of loneliness. I don't mind being alone.

I just don't want to feel lonely.

 I want children and a husband, I want to spend more time with my family.

But I also want adventures, I want to travel and I want to change the world. 

Will I be given the chance to do that? 

Will the decision be made for me? A simple 'sorry, we don't think you are right for the role'..

I don't know what I want. Every positive post below seems foreign to me now. 

I am scared.I am hopeful. I am excited. But if it is a no - then I will follow the next path.