Unconscious.
It was a choice I made to stay inside today. A self imposed prison if you will. And I drowned in my thoughts; but not the usual submersion. No this time it was a peaceful drowning, rendering me unconscious to the point of action.
And this is when I shine. Like phytoplankton, illuminating the sea. And as I float I wonder - will I ever get tired of motivating myself to swim? Cos I know I can swim. Really well if I wanted to. But truth is, my bones ache sometimes, and I just want you to whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Let me in on that little secret which keeps you smiling. And Lets leave love out for a second here, but just tell me - would you like me for more than just a little while?
Because I'm sure you did at one point...and I was too scared to see it. And now my wish for you came true. And you're whispering in the right ear. Sweet delicious nothing. Like rose water. I have to drink it.
Tell me; Is it that obvious? My uncertainty? My wanderlust notion? Is that what makes you run a mile after a month or so?
I look back on the church that became a disco. The Moroccan hostel where love was found for love. The lunchbox filled with chocolate. The surgery. The new city. The Turkish delights and the cheap pot of flowers. I make myself see you till I'm numb. And then the trumpet, of coarse. And finally the card dealer. Valentine stealer. Like a set of domino's lined, you all came tumbling down. And you stayed in my life less than the time it took me to get you out of my mind. That's what kills me really.
I lie to myself. Because I know that what really kills me is The Piano. The Pyramid. The Playlist. Because you saw me raw, layers peeled and you wanted to stay. You could've stayed for more than a while. A mere millisecond. But I knew that the only way to make you stay is if I pushed you away. And so I did. And I was right.
And here I am. In a room by myself. Waiting to wake up unconscious. I recharge like a drained battery. And most importantly, I prepare for the swim ahead. And sometimes I don't know how long I'll be cutting across the water, or how deep it will get, so I need time you know? To think and to stretch a little. And sometimes I stretch so far back in time that It's hard to think about the journey ahead. But I have to. I won't let myself drown. I'm all I have in this ocean.
No, don't feel sorry for the gypsy queens. Their compass is always pointing them in the right direction. And though the needle spins out of control sometimes, I know it's just glitch, and for the most part - they're going right where they should be.
It was a choice I made to stay inside today. A self imposed prison if you will. And I drowned in my thoughts; but not the usual submersion. No this time it was a peaceful drowning, rendering me unconscious to the point of action.
And this is when I shine. Like phytoplankton, illuminating the sea. And as I float I wonder - will I ever get tired of motivating myself to swim? Cos I know I can swim. Really well if I wanted to. But truth is, my bones ache sometimes, and I just want you to whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Let me in on that little secret which keeps you smiling. And Lets leave love out for a second here, but just tell me - would you like me for more than just a little while?
Because I'm sure you did at one point...and I was too scared to see it. And now my wish for you came true. And you're whispering in the right ear. Sweet delicious nothing. Like rose water. I have to drink it.
Tell me; Is it that obvious? My uncertainty? My wanderlust notion? Is that what makes you run a mile after a month or so?
I look back on the church that became a disco. The Moroccan hostel where love was found for love. The lunchbox filled with chocolate. The surgery. The new city. The Turkish delights and the cheap pot of flowers. I make myself see you till I'm numb. And then the trumpet, of coarse. And finally the card dealer. Valentine stealer. Like a set of domino's lined, you all came tumbling down. And you stayed in my life less than the time it took me to get you out of my mind. That's what kills me really.
I lie to myself. Because I know that what really kills me is The Piano. The Pyramid. The Playlist. Because you saw me raw, layers peeled and you wanted to stay. You could've stayed for more than a while. A mere millisecond. But I knew that the only way to make you stay is if I pushed you away. And so I did. And I was right.
And here I am. In a room by myself. Waiting to wake up unconscious. I recharge like a drained battery. And most importantly, I prepare for the swim ahead. And sometimes I don't know how long I'll be cutting across the water, or how deep it will get, so I need time you know? To think and to stretch a little. And sometimes I stretch so far back in time that It's hard to think about the journey ahead. But I have to. I won't let myself drown. I'm all I have in this ocean.
No, don't feel sorry for the gypsy queens. Their compass is always pointing them in the right direction. And though the needle spins out of control sometimes, I know it's just glitch, and for the most part - they're going right where they should be.
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