My heart is drumming between chords of happiness and sadness, my pulse is racing with fear and excitement, and my head is trying to pace me to take it day by day. 6 more days. I am going on a trip with my parents - it might be the last one I take with them at this stage of my life. Who knows. Everything seems final and hopeful and nostalgic and irritatingly familiar at the same time. Spending new years again - single, with my parents and my dear family friend. I will relish this moment however. Because I don't know what's coming my way. Its thrilling, and crazy and exciting. It could all change. It will all change. This is it. I feel it getting closer and closer. I wish I wasn't scared of reaching my full potential. Becoming the person I always knew I wanted to be. Living the life I had imagined. It will happen. Think it to reality. I will succeed. I will find happiness.I will not take the easy way out.

I also thought alot about regret today. Is anything really a mistake if you just take it as a lesson? I am ready to play this new role. To move into the new year knowing myself a whole lot better. I'm going to miss my cat. Photos. Flicking through photos. Memories and years and moments. I am ready to be born again. Bring it on Dubai. Bring it on 2013. It's a brand new me x

Yesterday was mama bears birthday. It was also christmas. I baked a cake - it was actually pretty good. I think it shall be my new party favor. Heh. It is really hard making a big effort sometimes, but I know I will miss these moments when I leave. The thing you have to remember is that a moment is never repeated, and same goes for each stage in your life. Everything passes with time. With time I have to remember not to sweat the small stuff, the importance of not saying too much, of sticking to your roots. 

Happy birthday mama- I will miss you. I hope I come back for your next birthday everything you wanted and more. Here is your favorite song x

Great Video! 

This song got me through the day for sure. I could not stop listening to it! I will start living soon, working. stressing. But for now, I'm going to end 2012 doing some sweet nothing. x

I don't remember much of my dream yesterday, but I remember very clearly whizzing down a river/ocean and passing two hump-back whales. I remembered I had whales in my dream very clearly when I woke up. 

Apparently, whales usually represent a big event in your life or a strong feeling of solitude.Some people believe that whales are associated with peace, serenity, spirituality and tranquility.The appearance of a whale in a dream can signify that everything is or will be ok and is often related to spiritual matters of the mind and heart.

I really hope so dream meaning interpreter. I really do.... I hope everything will be okay. I haven't been dreaming of houses lately - so maybe I am finally ok with who I am....Anyway - I feel like dancing now. Enjoy x

I'm going to repeat myself in the post below. NZ has some of the best music out. Just like our little   Island, our music is a hidden gem. I wanted to share a non-Kiwi song with you today, but I just can't do it! It's summer, and we have AWESOME musicians - namely Six 60. What a voice the lead singer has! Today I caught up with my favourite girls. Some of my best friends. My heart feels at ease around them, even though I am the only single one - I always feel like I am surrounded by family and love. Around them is where I can be myself and not question anything. It was great. I also had my first summer swim at Piha today. It was a bit dangerous - but the water is amazing. We also ate alot - and played soccer. I miss playing soccer! As we were playing, six 60 was blasting - so here is my song for the day. Wishing you all happiness and sunshine for the soul x

Ok and one more just because I can't get enough of that voice~

This was definitely my song for today. NZ harbors some of the worlds best singers for serious bro! The video reminds me of when I first came to NZ and went to a Maori primary/Intermediate.Wats good Manurewa! haha. I seriously thought I was a little Maori for my first five years here! Anywho, I took it reaaaal easy today, and the sunshine helped too. Did absolutley no work! God I shall miss you little secluded Island. I shall miss this time in my life when I am so damn relaxed!! Appreciation for my lack of motivation and dedication. This is for my Kiwis abroad! CHURRRR Stan Walker x